So Marsha Wants a Pickle?

You want to put that damn stupid pickle decoration on MY christmas tree. What is wrong with you. No, I don't care if pickles are your favorite vegetable. They don't even count. Any nuntritional value in a pickle was replaced by vinager, sugar, salt, seasonings and preservatives. You might as well just eat bees and cockroaches.
I don't care what holiday it is, and I don't really have any idea what Jesus would do. Jesus probably wouldn't have drank a whole bottle of whisky before noon either. Yes that is right daddy is drunk again.
What is that stain on your shirt? Ice cream, Ice Cream, ICE CREAM!!! GODDAMNIT!!! I don't give a flying rat's ass, and I don't need to be reminded what holiday it is. Do I look like I can afford to buy you a new shirt, we are poor, we don't have money for shirts just growing on trees. Looks like you are going to have to learn how to do your own laundry.
Did mommy ever tell you that you were an accident.

It doesn't mean anything, I just wish that Trojan made a better product.

Well just tell her yourself then.