Thursday, November 03, 2005

Awww Bananas Bananas Bananas!

Yes another food(ish) related post. Whatever it is my blog, quit your belly-aching. The other day as a friend of mine made an entrance into a room he shouted out "Aww Bananas Bananas Bananas!" With a tone that rang true of Jamie Kennedy in Malibu's Most Wanted. I thought to myself, what am I supposed to do with that?

Do you want us all to "go bananas" for some reason? Should we be going "bananas" because you are here? I don't think anyone has gone "bananas" since July 1986 when we then started going nuts.

Then, WHAM epiphany. (anyone else think "wake me up before you go go?" It's OK I won't judge.)

I think the new fad should be to say completely non-sense things at inopportune times. I mean let's face it as man has been around for at least 2000 years. OK so everything appropriate, fitting, and even inappropriate has already been said, no matter what the situation. In this new age where we strive for originality we should just say completly off color things. It's harder than it sounds:

Let's say today is your four year old son's birthday.

BBBB (Before Bananas Bananas Bananas) you would have said "Happy Birthday son" and guess what like a million people before you have already said it.

ABBB (AFTER Bananas Bananas Bananas) you could say: "Screaming Cat Farts with Strawberry Sauce!" And I would bet nobody said that one before to a small child for his birthday.

Let's do more of these. Your aunt just died so you would say to your uncle:

BBBB "I offer my condolences, here is a tuna casserole" Yeah every dumb idiot makes tuna casserole for the grief stricken you unoriginal baby!

ABBB "Here tie this caution tape to that dead horse and be sure it loops around the cactus." See there doesn't even have to be a dead horse or a cactus around and already his spirits are lifted higher than any soggy noodles in a fish flavored cream sauce could've ever done. Jerk!

You wake up in a Vegas hotel room and your buddy is dry humping a dead hooker in a cage.

BBBB "What the fuck happened last night?" Logical question, you think you are the first guy this has happened to? NO WAY! Be original you toenail clipping!

ABBB "Aww, fudge muffins" Now, you might not be the first person to substitute a "good word" for a "bad word" but you would most certainly be the first one to do it that had a dead hooker in his room. Most guys with dead hookers around them don't have a problem with swearing.

Now you have the power. Get out there and be original, never let yourself become a cliché.


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