Monday, November 21, 2005

Biggest Rip-Off in the History of Fruit.

Alright so after two important people told me not to; I have decided that I will not quit.

I bought these things the other day... Grapples. I was suckered in by the idea that it would have the flavor of a grape but the durability of an apple. Grapes frequently turn into juice if I pack them in a lunch, however apples are in it for the long haul. As far as the hierarchy of fruit flavors go grapes are way better, I thought I had found my rosetta stone.

Only to find that these are the biggest load of crap in the fruit world. I used to think that kumquats were the biggest rip-off, now grapples fill that niche. It is an apple coated with an artificial grape flavoring. Ugh, smells like that cheap grape soda made by Shasta, not even as good as a fanta. And if you wash it the grapeness goes away. What did I pay for this stupid pack of four apples? Five bucks... FIVE BUCKS. That is more than a buck an apple. Yup, a sucker is born everyday, and I am that sucker.

You are right in your lack of trust in the grapple.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Do not trust any food product that is promoted under flag of "tasting like something else". If a food cannot stand on its own goddamn merit, then it needs to be discarded and shunned.

Making apples taste like grapes is wrong, because both can be appealing at times, but embracing the grapple only leads to radical extremism at the produce counter. Whats next? Broccoli that tastes like cheese burgers? Walnuts that taste like vanilla ice cream?

Nay, I say. We will not have it. It is not right, and if taken too far, it is certain to be damned by vegitable lovers and the Christian church alike (the church will damn anything). Do not stray to the temptation of the tainted fruit, Sethonius! Move away from the light!


2:49 PM PST  
Blogger Sethonious said...

Aww crap. I can't have the church on my tail.

Although broccoli that tastes like cheeseburgers would really help curb the obesity epidemic in America. I am going to talk to my people about devloping this product...

9:41 AM PST  

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