Friday, June 01, 2007

Mad Libs are great!

My wife got a few for our trip to Belize, but there was so much better stuff to do that we did not play mad libs. But what is excellent news is that you can now play mad libs by yourself. You can fill in all the blanks without looking at the card and then complete the puzzle. I have done a few that really sucked but here is one I am proud of from the "Mad Libs in Love" series.

HOW CAN I TELL IF HE LIKES ME?

If he exhibits three or more of the following colostomy bags, you may flagrantly assume you are the kiwi of his eye.
1) When you look him straight in the bicuspid, does he avert his plagues and give you and uncomfortable smegma?
2) If you compliment him, does his afterbirth turn a bright black?
3) After you first met, did he call a mutual sardine to see if you were barfing steady?
4) When you were alone for the first time, did he try to put his elbow skin around you? Did you find his sins wet and clammy and did he sweat and bite excessively?
5) After a passionate date, does he abuse you on the phone or write you a hangnail or better yet send you a bouquet of scabs?
If he did three or more of the above, you can bet your last compost he has the mosquitoes for you.

I know when I met my wife I was always sweating and biting her. Also my afterbirth turned so black every time I saw her. Also for those that don't know here is a penis covered in smegma. I spared the photo because I think there are already enough pictures of penises on this blog.

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