Tuesday, June 12, 2007

I don't understand

A co-worker bought these Tropical Skittles. I think she was suckered in by the pretty blue package and awesome rainbow. I wanted to taste each flavor, and I noticed the flavor key which I thought was interesting.

We all know that the good ol fashioned skittles are orange, lemon, lime, strawberry and grape. But these tropical flavors are:

-Yellow: Banana Berry. Ok I get it yellow is the color of a banana, not a berry. That one will fly with me.
Taste: Rotten semen fruit, not at all edible.

-Green:Key lime. Yup, limes are in fact green.
Taste: More like a sour apple. Enjoyable, but not a lime.

-Orange: Mango Tangelo. Tangelos are orange and I guess that since yellow was already taken by the semen fruit that orange is close to the color of a mango's flesh.
Taste: Not bad. Tastes like a tangerine, but you can tell that they tried to get some chemically Mango flavor in there for the aftertaste.

-Blue: Pineapple Passion Fruit. WHAT THE FUCK! Neither Pineapples nor passion fruit are blue. I think that this is all marketing of Blue #1 is an secret conspiracy to get America's youth to buy candy (because blue is a pretty color) and get cancer (because Blue #1 dye clearly causes cancer)
Taste: It tastes like 4-mercaptoethanol smells. For those of you who are not chemists, this is the material that gives natural gas its distinct stink.

-Pink: Strawberry Starfruit. Same deal with the yellow. Strawberries are pink (sort of) but starfruit are not.
Taste: A cross between mint and parsley that has been in the fridge for about a week and has turned slimey.

Conclusion Tropical Skittles are disgusting, full of lies and cancer.


Blogger ::skh:: said...

Look - the people who make skittles don't actually expect you to notice differences in the flavors. These are the flavors: sour, really sour, and super hard to eat sour. Or, flavors expressed as colors. As in, I like "red" skittles. I have NO idea what red skittles are supposed to tast like in the real world. But, I like red skittles and not orange. As for blue, get those fuckers AWAY from me. I can't eat or drink things that are blue. Clearly mockeries or FREAKS of nature. Unlike proper "red" skittles.

10:20 PM PDT  

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