I don't understand
A co-worker bought these Tropical Skittles. I think she was suckered in by the pretty blue package and awesome rainbow. I wanted to taste each flavor, and I noticed the flavor key which I thought was interesting.
We all know that the good ol fashioned skittles are orange, lemon, lime, strawberry and grape. But these tropical flavors are:
-Yellow: Banana Berry. Ok I get it yellow is the color of a banana, not a berry. That one will fly with me.
Taste: Rotten semen fruit, not at all edible.
-Green:Key lime. Yup, limes are in fact green.
Taste: More like a sour apple. Enjoyable, but not a lime.
-Orange: Mango Tangelo. Tangelos are orange and I guess that since yellow was already taken by the semen fruit that orange is close to the color of a mango's flesh.
Taste: Not bad. Tastes like a tangerine, but you can tell that they tried to get some chemically Mango flavor in there for the aftertaste.
-Blue: Pineapple Passion Fruit. WHAT THE FUCK! Neither Pineapples nor passion fruit are blue. I think that this is all marketing of Blue #1 is an secret conspiracy to get America's youth to buy candy (because blue is a pretty color) and get cancer (because Blue #1 dye clearly causes cancer)
Taste: It tastes like 4-mercaptoethanol smells. For those of you who are not chemists, this is the material that gives natural gas its distinct stink.
-Pink: Strawberry Starfruit. Same deal with the yellow. Strawberries are pink (sort of) but starfruit are not.
Taste: A cross between mint and parsley that has been in the fridge for about a week and has turned slimey.
Conclusion Tropical Skittles are disgusting, full of lies and cancer.
We all know that the good ol fashioned skittles are orange, lemon, lime, strawberry and grape. But these tropical flavors are:-Yellow: Banana Berry. Ok I get it yellow is the color of a banana, not a berry. That one will fly with me.
Taste: Rotten semen fruit, not at all edible.
-Green:Key lime. Yup, limes are in fact green.
Taste: More like a sour apple. Enjoyable, but not a lime.
-Orange: Mango Tangelo. Tangelos are orange and I guess that since yellow was already taken by the semen fruit that orange is close to the color of a mango's flesh.
Taste: Not bad. Tastes like a tangerine, but you can tell that they tried to get some chemically Mango flavor in there for the aftertaste.
-Blue: Pineapple Passion Fruit. WHAT THE FUCK! Neither Pineapples nor passion fruit are blue. I think that this is all marketing of Blue #1 is an secret conspiracy to get America's youth to buy candy (because blue is a pretty color) and get cancer (because Blue #1 dye clearly causes cancer)
Taste: It tastes like 4-mercaptoethanol smells. For those of you who are not chemists, this is the material that gives natural gas its distinct stink.
-Pink: Strawberry Starfruit. Same deal with the yellow. Strawberries are pink (sort of) but starfruit are not.
Taste: A cross between mint and parsley that has been in the fridge for about a week and has turned slimey.
Conclusion Tropical Skittles are disgusting, full of lies and cancer.
posted by Sethonious at 1:44 PM
1 Comments:
Look - the people who make skittles don't actually expect you to notice differences in the flavors. These are the flavors: sour, really sour, and super hard to eat sour. Or, flavors expressed as colors. As in, I like "red" skittles. I have NO idea what red skittles are supposed to tast like in the real world. But, I like red skittles and not orange. As for blue, get those fuckers AWAY from me. I can't eat or drink things that are blue. Clearly mockeries or FREAKS of nature. Unlike proper "red" skittles.
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