Thursday, January 26, 2006

Hardest Working Man in Show Business

I respect Samuel L Jackson's work ethic he will take any job anywhere. I have not seen most of his movies, but I appreciate him. I wish I could be more like him. This is the epic post I have been promising. ENJOY!

With the help of IMDB I have compiled this list of movies and mini reviews:

The Jailhouse Lawyer (2006) -Don't know not out yet
Poker Nights (2007) -Don't know not out yet
"Afro Samurai" (2006) -Don't know not out yet
2004: A Light Knight's Odyssey (2006)-Don't know not out yet
Snakes on a Plane (2006) -Can't wait to see this movie it will surely be the best movie of 2006
Black Snake Moan (2006) - What, is he doing porn?
Freedomland (2006) -Missed it
"The Boondocks" - A Date with the Health Inspector (2005) -I respect Boondocks
The Man (2005) -Eugene Levy was good Samuel L was an angry black man.
Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith (2005) -Angry black Jedi Part III
xXx: State of the Union (2005) -Missed this one
Mr. Incredible and Pals (2005) -Didn't see it.
Coach Carter (2005) -Angry black coach with a purpose
The Incredibles (2004) -GREAT
Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas (2004) -He'll even do angry black voice overs for video games.
Kill Bill: Vol. 2 (2004) Missed it.
Twisted (2004/I) What?
Country of My Skull (2004) Never saw it.
S.W.A.T. (2003) Awesome and he was flawless
Coaching the Minors (2003) - Is this another porno?
Basic (2003) -Missed it
xXx (2002) Missed it
The House on Turk Street (2002) What is the deal with the dirty sounding movies?
Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002) Angry Black Jedi part II
Changing Lanes (2002) Missed it
The Comeback (2002) Missed it
The 51st State (2001) Missed it
Seven Days of Kwanzaa (2001) Didn't know it existed. Does Sameul L really celebrate Kwanzaa or was this just another check?
The Caveman's Valentine (2001) -Porno?
Unbreakable (2000) -Awesome movie. I know a lot of people hated it. This was supposed to be a trilogy which would have been two more movies on this list, but the people vetoed that one. I would have liked to have seen these unmade movies.
Shaft (2000) - Can you dig it?
"WWF Smackdown! - Episode dated 15 June 2000 -Smackdown? Sam was on Smackdown, dude there has to be a line. Stick it to the golf tournaments. SMACKDOWN?!?!
Rules of Engagement (2000) -Missed it
Any Given Wednesday (2000) -YES!
Deep Blue Sea (1999) - This was good
Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999) -Angry Black Jedi Part I
Our Friend, Martin (1999) - ummm?
Violon rouge, Le (1998) - Samuel L speaks french... for a price.
The Negotiator (1998) - I think I saw this, was it good?
Out of Sight (1998) Nope
Sphere (1998) -Hey just cause you had a lot of success with the first Michael Crighton venture you did doesn't mean they are all gold. Worst movie on the list.
Jackie Brown (1997) - Obligatory
Eve's Bayou (1997) - Biblical porn?
One Eight Seven (1997) - on a mutha fucking Cop!
The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996) - Didn't see it
A Time to Kill (1996) - Sounds like he might have played an angry black man but I missed this one too.
Trees Lounge (1996)- What is this? Samuel witll make ANY movie!
The Great White Hype (1996) - Loved this movies and Sam was great!
Sydney (1996) -nope
Fluke (1995) -nope
Die Hard: With a Vengeance (1995) -Bruce Willis and Samuel L were made for each other. I just wish Sam would have replaced Ben Affleck in Armageddeon.
Kiss of Death (1995) -missed it
Losing Isaiah (1995) -missed it
"Happily Ever After: Fairy Tales for Every Child" (1995) - Samuel L will be in your movie just sign the check!
The Search for One-eye Jimmy (1994) -More filth.
The New Age (1994) missed it.
Pulp Fiction (1994) - Of course he agreed to make this loser kid Quentin's movie. He'll do anything, and since Tarintino was working in a video rental store he saw all of Sam's movies and was hypnotized into casting him. Also --- played and angry black man with a gun
Against the Wall (1994) (TV) -didn't see this one
Assault at West Point: The Court-Martial of Johnson Whittaker (1994) missed it
Fresh (1994) -sounds like a classic but I missed it
Hail Caesar (1994) - is this about rome or salads?
True Romance (1993) - Sam made a love story? I'll bet he played the angry black lover who was jaded
Jurassic Park (1993) - Angry black programer, I understand that he is a chain smoker in real life, this must have been an easy role for him.
Menace II Society (1993) -YES, but not as good a Don't be a menace II society while drinking your juice...
Amos & Andrew (1993) -never knew it existed
Loaded Weapon 1 (1993) Is this a spoof of lethal weapon, and why isn't Loaded Weapon 2 on this list?
Simple Justice (1993) mised it
"I'll Fly Away" - Since Walter (1992) missed it
"Ghostwriter" - Who Burned Mr. Brinker's Store?: Part 1 (1992) Sounds like children's TV again
Ghost Story: Part 1 (1992) Where os part 2
Patriot Games (1992) Was he an angry black secret agent?
White Sands (1992) - missed it
Juice (1992) -DAMN good movie
Fathers & Sons (1992) missed it
Jumpin' at the Boneyard (1992) -another PORN?
Dead and Alive: The Race for Gus Farace (1991) -what is this?
Strictly Business (1991) - missed it
Johnny Suede (1991) -missed it
Jungle Fever (1991) -Really good movie
"Law & Order" - The Violence of Summer (1991) - I Love L+O I must track this episode down
The Return of Superfly (1990) - blacksploitataion?
Goodfellas (1990) - One of the best movies of all time
The Exorcist III (1990) -I don't see spooky movies
Mo' Better Blues (1990) -missed it
Betsy's Wedding (1990) missed it
Def by Temptation (1990) -Black on Black Porno
A Shock to the System (1990) - missed it
Sea of Love (1989) - really?
Do the Right Thing (1989) -good movies
"The Days and Nights of Molly Dodd" - Here's Why You Should Always Make Your Bed in the Morning (1989) -say it with me "sounds like porn"
"A Man Called Hawk" - Intensive Care (1989) -umm
Dead Man Out (1989) hope it is NOT a gay porn about a dead queer coming out of the closet.
Coming to America (1988) good movie
School Daze (1988) I remember liking this movie but have no idea who he was in this movie
Eddie Murphy Raw (1987) -missed it
"Spenser: For Hire" - My Enemy, My Friend (1987) -nope
White Knight (1986) -nope
Magic Sticks (1987) -porn
Uncle Tom's Cabin (1987)- I think he was still young here and wanted to make films that mattered
Ragtime (1981) - See uncle tom's cabin
The Trial of the Moke (1978) - missed it
The Displaced Person (1977) - see ragtime
Together for Days (1972) - Bondage porn

Friday, January 20, 2006


Just so you know I am obsessed with Snakes on a Plane. I have to see this movie. Samuel L will work in any movie, any where, any time. Just sign the check.


The picture has nothing to do with this post I just think it's funny that the "future" has people wearing dated outfits riding around on kegs. That can't be comfortable. I have sat on a keg or 2 in my day and I wouldn't want that in my future. I'd much rather have a barrel of beer.

I want to hear greetings. Give me colorful greetings. I like:

1) "Snakes on a Plane"
2) "I came here to drink beer and kick some ass. Looks like we're all out of beer."
3) "Party on Garth"

Your assignment is to keep em coming...

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Talkin' Shit 'bout a Pretty Sunset

I should be thankful that I have a job, especially when there are so many who are less fornutate. But it is about to suck about 100X more than poop on a door. Sadly it confidential because otherwise, I could tell some stories about this one.

I really need to stay upbeat about this one, but I think business trips just suck in general. Especially ones to Fresno. They ask you to leave your niche to go some place you hate. Ugh. I guess the business trip to Alaska, NY, Hawaii, shit even Cuba would be better than Fresno.

Whatever I have a job and I am thankful. Hopefully I will get to tell you stories about co-workers singing country Karaoke in a shit-hole country dive bar in the middle of nowhere and getting in a fight with Bubba or Jon-bob, or at least something funny. You know come to think of it when I see Bubba I am just going to (attempt to) kick his ass just so I have something to laugh about and write about.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Poop on a door!

For those that don't know sometimes my job requires me to be on call for emergency response. This past week was my turn for the short straw. Normally I really don't mind the infrequent calls for an odor complaint or a broken mercury thermometer. These types of call are no big deal and when they are a big deal they are usually interesting and fun. This week however topped (or bottomed) the list of responses.

I got a call at 11:45 pm on Tuesday night from the emergency dispatcher and was given a number to call. I responded the typical way, wrote down the number and called the contact. Here is the conversation:

Me: "Good evening this is Seth the emergency responder on duty, how can I assist you?"

Him: "Yeah, some homeless guy pooped outside and I need you to come clean it up."

Me: "Excuse me?"

Him: "It is a really big stinky diahrrea, a real mess."

Me: "Why does this concern me, I don't clean poop, especially not outside poop."

Him: "Well it is outside but he smeared it all over one of the exterior doors that lead into the facility"

Me: "Call a janitor, my job is emergency response and the feces is not threatening anyone right now."

Him: "I am a janitor."

Ahh it is all perfectly clear now. He doesn't want to do his job so he calls me to clean up the poop. Uh, no I am not falling for it.

Him: "Here let me give you to the security guard he has actually seen it and reported it to me."

Security: "Yeah there's like a shit ton of poop on that door. That dude made a real mess it's like finger paints 'n shit."

Me: "Great. Is there blood in the feces."

Security: "uh I don't know I didn't really look that hard at it. I can go check for you. Would that help?"

Me: "No I really don't care if there is or not, I was just wondering if the painting was a single color or if there was some variation in the work. Put him back on the phone."

Him: "So are you on your way out here?"

Me: "No, I am not going to clean that ever."

Him: "Yeah but I heard on the TV news that pigeon shit is toxic."

Me: "What?! That has nothing to do with this."

Him: "Yes it does."

Me: "No it doesn't"

Him: "Look pigeon shit is like toxic because they are homeless birds and they eat toxic stuff and poop out toxic shit and a homeless dude is like a big toxic pigeon. As a night shift supervisor I am going to make the decision that nobody on my staff is going to clean that up."

Me: "Your group has the training and equipement required to do this job safely and I expect that you do it."

Him: "No."

Me: "OK then a bunch of folks are going to be welcomed to work tomorrow morning by a big ol shit stain on the door. Who is your supervisor?"

He continued to go on and on about the parallels between pigeons and "homeless dudes" stating and restating his refusal to clean the poop and I continued to ask for his supervisors name. Finally he told me and hung up on me.

Look this place is out at 13th and Mission and that is not such a safe place to be at midnight or one in the morning. I was not about to go out there to scrape shit off a door. It is not normally in my personality to pull this kind of attitude; but I'm sorry if you didn't want to clean up shit maybe you shoud go back to school and get out of the custodial arts. I have a graduate degree and I am going to pull rank on this one each and every time.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Favorite Songs 2005

I am not such a scenester that I have the requirement that the song was released in 2005. It doesn't even have to be new to me in 2005. The only requirement to qualify for this list is that I had to have liked the song in 2005; a lot. So here they are in no order whatsoever.

1) Fall Out Boy- Everything off "From Under the Cork Tree"
2) Neutral Milk Hotel "Naomi"
3) Cat Power's cover of "Sea of Love"
4) Pinback - Cover to Cover "Summer in Abaddon"
5) Modest Mouse "Blame it on the Tetons" -Bringing it HARD OLD SKOOOL Modest Mouse Style!
6) Gwen Stefani - That damn bananas song. -I don't care what you say
7) Interpol- "Evil"
8) Bright Eyes- all of "I'm Wide awake It's Morning"
9) Alan Jackson- "Remember When"
10) Ice Cube- "It Was a Good Day"
11) Promise Ring- "Just Getting Good"
12) Postal Service - "Such Great Heights"
13) Rocket From The Crypt- "Let's Get Busy" and "Dick on a Dog"
14) Two Gallants - All of "The Throes"

So I guess that is my top 14 list which is actually a "more than 14 list" since there are a few albums on here with more than one song.

What are your faves in '05?

Favorite G Dubs Quote of 2005

"See, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda." --Greece, N.Y., May 24, 2005

On a different note I like his patriotic bike helmet. USA! USA! USA!